Last week, I went through an intense panic phase related to the Coronavirus.
Two weeks ago, while my mom was visiting me in Venice, the number of cases in the region started to rise quickly and we decided to go back to France to avoid getting trapped in the country.
Feeling completely appalled by the lack of directives from the French government, we decided that the responsible thing to do was to go on a self-imposed quarantine to protect the people around us in case we had been infected without knowing it.
While in quarantine, as I started developing a cold, my chronic fear of being sick blew up completely out of proportions and with it, the fear of having infected my mom.
I went into total panic mode, forcing my body to put itself into survival mode and triggering all the symptoms that go with it…
I have always had this tendency to over-react when it comes to health issues and this has been very complicated to deal with in the past. I’m basically a full-blown hypochondriac.
A few years ago, the stress & pressure created in my body by this personality trait have been enough to generate intense pain in my body, make me faint and send me to the hospital. So this time around, I decided to use this distressing Coronavirus epidemic to tackle my crazy fears, hopefully once and for all…
Fortunately, I’m older now (and let’s hope a tiny bit wiser) so I know a few effective ways to cool myself down and get out of my own non-sense.
Meditating and focusing my mind on letting the surplus of energy & emotions move through and out of my body for example.
So that’s what I did and something incredible happened…
While it started as usual with my emotions moving up to my throat and out of my body as expected, a new player entered the conversation… My immune system.
After all, all these insane fears were getting it to overwork while it was trying to do its job of keeping me healthy and getting me rid of the other symptoms, you know, the “real” ones… so if I could please get out of the fears and let it do its job properly, that would be fantastic, thank you very much!
Oops, sorry…
It’s true.
When I’m in panic or irrational fear, the stress creates new or increased symptoms in my body that my immune system has to suddenly deal with to keep my body going.
So instead of letting it focus all its resources on helping me recover from my cold, I put new stuff on its plate, splitting its resources & energy on things it shouldn’t have to deal with.
I’ve also noticed that when I’m afraid and sick, my symptoms intensify… as if my immune system was asking me to pick a priority.
Communication between us needed to be restored.
So I wrote to my immune system…
*
“Dear immune system,
First, thank you for your unconditional love for me and for the fabulous work you’ve done in preserving my health, supporting me, healing me so many times over the years.
If only I could convey with words how precious you are to me, how impressed I am with your capabilities and how much I revere you.
How grateful I am that you have accompanied me on this often difficult path to health.
Thank you for raising my awareness and teaching me about priorities.
I would love for you to focus your efforts, not on healing my fears but on healing my sicknesses.
Thank you for using your endless wisdom to that aim, to transform my dis-ease in ease and my dis-comfort in comfort.
On my side, I’ll make sure my fears don’t come & impact your important work. I’ll do my best to keep my fears in the passenger seat and not let them drive anymore.
Of course, you know me well, I will never be reckless.
I’ll make sure of not generating additional work for you when it can be avoided and strengthen your defence lines regularly, using energy healing & nature’s benefits.
I won’t expose you to burn-out mindlessly.
I’ll protect your resources as much as you protect mine.
Thank you, a thousand times, for everything you’re doing me. I love you.”
*
I felt a delicious sense of calm invade me, as if my immune system was thanking me from the inside. It was amazing.
Whatever happens with this virus, I’m grateful for this lesson.
After years of consistent soul & self practice, I thought I had found an unshakeable balance, that I was above all fears, that never again I would be overcome by my own fears… Haha, what a humbling experience!
I know the best way for me to support my health is to take care of myself on a daily basis.
I know the only way I’ll be able to go through this epidemic is by having faith in my body, my inner resources and in the Universe. Living in fear mode is not sustainable anyway.
Just trust and let my immune system do its job.
