I love choosing words that will be themes to focus on all throughout the year.
For 2020, I had selected “Pleasure” and it presented itself in a way I didn’t expect at all.
With the pandemic, I found my way back to the simple pleasures of life: observing insects go about their day, cuddling the cats, hearing the sound of my steps on the forest floor, smelling & picking up wildflowers, breathing…
Having this word as a focus has made me very attuned to my energy, my rhythm, and what makes my daily life enjoyable.
This year, I’ve decided to concentrate on some qualities I’d like to develop.
In the past, I’ve noticed more than once that when people talk to me, my mind is very quick in formulating a reply but not so good at staying quiet & holding space for the other person.
In 2020, I felt called to just shut up (Hi, Saturn in my 5th house…) & I’ve started practicing my listening skills.
I failed miserably a few times.
My ego took a hit… for the best, ha!
This year, I would like to continue improving my listening skills.
???? Not preparing replies in my head while people are talking.
???? Not trying to fix the situation or “save” them
???? Not anticipating what people might say or finishing their sentences out of impatience
???? Being comfortable with silence
???? Holding space for the person, just being there, not trying to change them or the situation at hand
???? Letting them express ALL they want to express without interruption
???? Respecting their boundaries
???? Asking questions when relevant to make sure I have fully understood what they wanted to say
???? Shutting up most of the time to give them enough space to say what they’d like to say.
My 2nd word for 2021 will be benevolence.
It’s something I’ve always consciously nurtured. Choosing to live & relate in a way that promotes other people’s well-being, development & integrity as well as mine.
To me, it’s a mandatory attitude to create fulfilling relationships.
This year, I’ll apply myself to extend this benevolence to a wider audience, including people I strongly disagree with (Hello, hunters!) or was hurt by (Hello, past friends!).
My main challenge with this will be to be benevolent & forgive those who have offended me emotionally, mentally or physically.
When hurt, I’m able to cut the bond quickly & easily but then, I tend to be resentful for a very long time.
I will never forget what you’ve done to me. I have a very good memory & every tiny detail will remain stuck in my brain forever. (Scorpios, right…!)
As Fitzwilliam Darcy said, “I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself… My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”
If you’ve hurt me emotionally or belittled me intentionally and act against my interest, you’ll never get a second chance with me… even if decades have gone by & you’ve changed so much that you’re not even the same person.
I’d like to change that.
I’d like to ease my resentment, forgive those people & wish them well, no matter what they’ve done to me in the past.
That doesn’t mean I’ll welcome them again in my life & will be able to restart our friendship.
I’m afraid I’m not that forgiving. Keeping those people at a distance is how I protect myself & make sure I don’t get hurt again (Not even talking about people who have hurt me physically cause those people don’t exist to me anymore! :O).
In 2021, I commit to turn differences into respectful & interesting conversations and ease my anger & resentment towards people who have offended me.
There’s a lot of forgiveness in my benevolence as you can see…
So, let me tell you, it’s not gonna a piece of cake cause my pride is strong!
What about you?
Do you hold grudges?
Are you able to be benevolent with everyone?
2020 having been such a violent year, I’ve decided to compensate by spreading kindness around me in 2021.
I thought I would fill my year with random acts of kindness that align with my soul & that could fit in my schedule.
Here’s a list of kind gestures I’m applying in 2021:
- Send homemade letters to my friends
- Write compliments on notes & leave them inside the books of the local free library box (it’s a free box where people can give & take books)
- Always carry a bin bag to pick up the trashes during my walks
- Flourish the tombs of my local cemetery (the residents there have a gorgeous view on the sea!)
- Leave kind notes under the windshield of random cars in my area & beyond (will wait for sunnier days for this one ;D)
- Leave positive reviews about the businesses that I loved (I normally forget to do it!)
- On a weekly basis, send a praise email to someone to thank them for who they are
- Hug my friends often & for longer (In New Zealand, hugging someone to say hello is common. I’d like to spread this wonderful practice in France too instead of the kiss on the cheeks which we’re not able to do anymore with Covid anyway!)
It’s amazing how just listing those acts already make me feel good!
Would you be keen to join me in spreading kindness this year?
Which acts of kindness would you resonate most with?
Let me know in the comments!